| Thanks Darrel, you made a huge difference.
At twenty-six years old, I was a Vietnam vet, had recently completed an undergrad science degree and was in my first professional position. I was a young manager in charge of a twenty person department at a manufacturing plant start-up. I was in over my head and I've always liked that.
My schooling in leadership/management was from Dad and later, the Army. Dad was an ex-Navy crew chief who was wounded at Pearl Harbor, recovered and went on the fight the air war in the Pacific theater. He was an entrepreneur, a Navy boxer and master of the command and control style of leadership. His approach was reinforced by my time in the Army.
I was now in charge of getting business results through others. This was before the term “team” was in the business lexicon and on paper, I did have authority over the group of union production and professional technical folks, but I was a punk. I was younger than many I had authority over, self-confident beyond reasonableness, reactionary and overall, too cool to fool.
I was getting reasonable results, yet everything I accomplished was more difficult than it should have been both for me and for those around me. When I finally did go home at the end of the day, more often than not I felt like kicking the dog. It seemed like the more intense I got, the less I accomplished and the more difficult it became. I was aggressive and ambitious – the bull in the china shop. While I had the technical aspects of my job in spades, I simply did not have the leadership perspective or skills.
Darrel was my boss. He was relatively new in the job. He joined from outside the company and was a quick study. He saw my rough edges right away and, more importantly for me and the business, he saw through these rough edges.
One day, we had a long lunch. He held up a mirror and made sure that I accurately saw what the mirror reflected. I did not like what I saw. He was so skilled that it was simply not possible for me to ignore what was in the mirror.
There was no threat. No ultimatum. Instead, we had a discussion led by thoughtful, tough questions directed at me about me and what I wanted out of life, my job and career. He painted a clear and powerful picture of how my rough edges were keeping me from getting what I wanted and how that played out through my employees and the business. This did not feel like a disciplinary discussion because it focused on growth and development. Still, I knew changes were in order.
I don't know that any one aspect of the discussion was more important or powerful than another. The fact is I was light on self-awareness. Darrel expanded my perspective and offered me help. Now, thirty years later, I think of him with gratitude this Thanksgiving week. He steered me to an intensive personal leadership development program that took place one evening a week for several months. He attended my graduation and continued to mentor. The business invested a significant percent of my annual salary in the program and in me. This was my first professional job and my first real experience with a mentor who was not a parent, grandparent or school teacher. I was dumbfounded that both Darrel and the company had that much faith in me.
I am guessing he is probably retired now. I have no idea where he is and he probably has no idea of the impact he had on my life but I am guessing he has a legacy of growing other leaders.
You're a leader, the one in charge, the place where the buck stops. Here are a few "look in the mirror" questions.
Lagniappe - A little something extra and $100 from Route 2 to a worthy charity
Robert spends his day as an airport van jockey for a local hotel and his afternoons and evenings waiting tables at Don Carlos Restaurant. The thing about Robert, however is that he doesn't wait tables, he serves people. He makes sure that diners have an excellent experience. Sharon is a subscriber in Texas and she tells the story of a recent thirty person family event. Robert is so good that she requested he be the waiter for this large family event on the patio. Robert is in his sixties and the restaurant is the second job he works each day. Tired? No one can tell because Robert is always engaged with his customers. Smiling, joking, gauging his customer's needs not only for food and drink but also for laughing, joking, singing and always providing just what is needed for the group at that point in time. Thirty drink orders – got it. Thirty dinner orders – got it and if it's not right it's free. One man serving thirty people in the party and all food, drink and interaction is done with a real joy just to be of service. Now that is a little something extra service.
Thanks to Sharon for the story and $100 goes from us to Cal Farley's Boys Town.
P.S. Between the time Sharon originally sent this story and now Robert's has had a big change in his life. A Marriot Hotel District Manager was a customer at Don Carlos and she was served by Robert. She returned several times and brought executive colleagues. Significantly impressed she recruited Robert and he is now managing training and serving a new set of customers for this region of the Marriot hotel chain. |
